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This Is The Saddest Post That I Have Written So Far

This is probably the saddest thing that I have written on this blog, I am losing my mother.  No she is not my real mother but yet she is still my mother in more ways then any other person could be that isn’t.  

Through the many years that I have known her (since I was 9) she has always steered me in the right direction.  I have always been able to talk to her about things that may upset other people.  She has been there for me even when she has not been with me.  I remember when I first started volunteering at the camp and she was there to tell me what I should do and that it was ok if I didn’t get it right the first time and that I would learn.  Although I wasn’t with her as a counselor I could always hear her in my ear saying “C.Y.A. (Cover your ass).”  As I continued outside of camp for a while I would stop by and see her at camp and we would both vent about things that were happening.  After her assistant director retired a few years ago I was hearing the names of the people that my boss was thinking of putting there.  All these people I knew were not going to end well, either she would murder them, they would murder her or they would murder each other.  After thinking about this I pestered our boss (yes the one that I talk about) until he put me there.  I knew this way she would at least have someone that would be able to help her with what she needed instead of trying to further themselves.  When I first started with her last summer I had a few missteps along the way, but as she always did she helped me threw them.  She also had a few problems and I know she was happy to know that she had someone there to help her.  As this year at camp started it was pretty much the same as usual except that “all the drama,” as she puts it, started on day one.  And day after day, week after week this summer I could see that she was getting annoyed.  As much as I could I tried to help her, but I had a feeling her mind was made up when at a recent staff meeting she looked at everyone and said “I will not always be the one sitting in this chair, you don’t know who they will but her next.”  I knew right then and there that was it.

So for all the laughs, all the tears, and all the good and bad times that we have had over the last 13 year I say to her:
May all your days be happy and not filled with stress,
May you always remember not only where you are going but also where you have been,
And most of all that at some point I hope to be able to teach people the way that you have been able to teach me.

You Know Who. 

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